Title: Reflections After Rage
Fandom: General Hospital
Pairing/Characters: Krissy, (hints of) Kristina/Ethan
Word Count: 835
Summary: In the moments after the second attack, Kristina reflects on why this happened to her.
A/N: So, because I’m close in age to Kristina, I find myself relating to her (even though her character isn’t always linear) so this is what I’ve been working on since the April 2nd episode. I watch two weeks at a time, so I haven’t seen any since. If anything is contrary to what has since been said, we’ll chalk it up to being an AU fic.
Lying on her living room floor for the second time, Kristina stares blankly in front of her, watching the retreating footsteps of her boyfriend.
“This is all your fault! You made me do this!” Kiefer yells at her before leaving, and Kristina knows he’s not completely wrong.
She knows she didn’t do anything wrong. She knows he had no right to hurt her like this. But even knowing this, she’s aware of the fact that she should have left him months ago, back when she first noticed his temper. (But she always wrote it off as something that would not happen again, even when it did.) Even more important, she should have told someone what was going on, because no one really sees Kiefer for who he is. Everyone just sees the fairy tale version she’s made up to justify what he’s really like.
The truth is she knows she’s made a huge mistake, not only with Kiefer, but Ethan as well. She also knows she has to tell everyone the truth.
If she doesn’t, Ethan will surely end up dead. Even if he has an alibi for this time, her father won’t believe it. Kristina, despite having spent little time with her father, knows him well enough to know he’s the shoot-first-ask-questions-later type. He won’t wait to find out if Ethan’s innocent. It won’t matter that she asked him not to kill Ethan. Once he sees her bloody and bruised again, Ethan’s death warrant will practically be signed. He’ll just get angry again and he’ll hurt Ethan.
But Ethan didn’t do it, Kiefer did.
Kristina wonders why this had to happen to her. Why did she choose the wrong guy? Why did she stay? Why did she pretend it was okay when he would hit her? Why did she lie to protect Kiefer? Kiefer was so nice when she first met him. When did he change? Well she’s not going to protect him anymore. She’s going to tell everyone the truth.
She’s just scared and not sure how to tell everyone she lied. She’s the perfect daughter of Alexis Davis. What will everyone think of her when they all find out?
She remembers the talk with her father, when he told her about her grandmother. Kristina knows she has to tell the truth, but how does she do so when it means saying she lied? Her father will surely think her more like Adela for protecting Kiefer.
But it’s not that black and white like they’ll all believe. This wasn’t all a way to protect her abuser. It’s not all a lie. The truth is that there are shades of grey that no one seems to see.
She knows she has a long apology to make to Ethan, but she doesn’t know how to say she’s sorry for such a thing as almost getting him killed. Yes, if she’s being honest, a part of her meant to hurt him, but that isn’t the whole truth either.
She really didn’t mean for this to happen, and she’s starting to wish she hadn’t taken it so far. Kiefer got the chance to do it again, and Ethan’s life is held in the balance. She knows she has to apologize to him for doing this, she just really doesn’t know how to go about it because she’s never alone. And for all her family’s good intentions, they’re varying attitudes are making it very hard to admit the truth.
In all honesty, she didn’t even mean to lie that first time in the hospital. It was just that when she woke up in the hospital, things were clear and fuzzy at the same time. (She remembered what happened, but interspersed with the events was what happened at he Haunted Star.) Then her parents and Lucky came in and she was so busy trying to sort everything out and catalogue it into what was safe to say and what she needed to keep quiet that things got a bit mixed up. So when Lucky asked her who hurt her—and he worded it just like that—it was Ethan’s name that she answered with.
She knew it was Kiefer who hurt her and gave her the bruises and cuts that marred her body; she remembered it all too clearly. But the truth, in Kristina’s mind, was that it didn’t hurt near as much as Ethan’s rejection. She so desperately wanted him to like her, but he yelled at her and hurt her and made her feel stupid. In her mind, that was worse than what Kiefer did—after all, he’d done it before on a smaller scale, it was almost expected. And once the lie was out of her mouth, she refused to take it back.
But now she refuses to protect Kiefer.
She refuses to allow her father an excuse to kill.
She refuses to allow everyone else to believe the worst of Ethan.
And most importantly, she refuses to be a victim to anyone else ever again.