Fic: Accidental (2/?)
Fandom: The 100
Word Count: 1544 (TOTAL: 3339)
Summary: Clarke didn't mean to get pregnant at twenty-one. Bellamy did not mean to have a one night stand with his sister's best friend. Accidents happen, as the saying goes, and they'll have to come together to deal with the fallout of their actions. (Modern AU)
Previous Chapters: (1)
When Clarke exits the bathroom fifteen minuets later—half the time devoted to her beloved morning sickness and half devoted to her desire to put off this conversation—she finds Bellamy seated at the table. Opposite him rests a pile of saltine crackers on a napkin and a glass of milk.
Clarke bites her lip as she sits down at the table, partly out of nervousness, and partly to keep herself from crying at the thoughtful gesture. Her emotions have been so out of control lately it’s been driving Raven and Octavia crazy more often that not. Not that she can do much about pregnancy hormones, though, which just frustrates Clarke more than anything. Control is important to her, and this mistake—this baby—has her so out of control and so out of her depth that she feels like she’s drowning.
As her right hand reaches for the glass of milk, she risks a glance at his face to determine his demeanor. Clarke doesn’t know what she was expecting, but the calm way he’s watching her surprises her.
Silence drags between them as Clarke watches the clock on the microwave, mentally counting the seconds between each minute. Of course, things need to be said, but she honestly doesn’t know where to start.
After some time, Bellamy finally breaks. “Is it mine?” he blurts out suddenly, a rough edge to his voice.
Clarke sits up straighter and carefully sets down the glass of milk, which is now half empty. Perhaps she’s just overemotional and stressed, but she becomes immediately defensive. Clarke only then becomes aware that she’s had her left hand cradling her stomach. “She’s my baby, Bellamy,” Clarke very nearly hisses.
She’s been going at this alone for nearly eight weeks now, having figured out she could be pregnant and taking a test two and a half weeks after her night with Bellamy. Yes, the baby is his biologically, but more importantly, the baby is hers, and she doesn’t actually know Octavia’s brother well enough yet to feel any sort of safety in associating her baby with him. However, Bellamy keeps pushing, and a definitive answer is inevitable.
Bellamy sighs. “I know the baby is yours, Clarke, and I would never even think of changing that in any way, but if it is mine as well—if I am the baby’s father—I want to know, and I want to be a part of this.”
Clarke goes still as she contemplates what to do, what to say. She stands up and starts pacing the kitchen and living room. Her left hand has begun rubbing circles around her stomach, a habit she’s picked up recently when she’s feeling stressed, as if to comfort her baby. She chances a look over to Bellamy, who is now also standing, but hasn’t moved from beside the table. He’s watching her, though—or, more accurately, he’s watching her stomach. She takes a deep breath.
“Yes, she’s yours. I’m twelve weeks,” she answers him and, anticipating the confusion on his face, she continues, “I don’t know why, but apparently it’s counted by the date of your last period. In any case, you were the only person I was with at the time, so she has to be yours.”
“She?” Bellamy asks as he picks up on her use of the pronoun.
Clarke shrugs. “I won’t know for sure for another two months or so, but I just have this feeling, you know?”
Bellamy nods, and Clarke watches his eyes as they stare down at her stomach. There’s this look in them, this glimmer of vulnerability that makes her heart beat a little faster.
She moves back to the table and begins munching on the crackers and after a moment he starts asking her questions about the pregnancy. She answers easily, having said the same things to Octavia and Raven, the responses are nearly automatic by now.
“The morning sickness should be going away in the next few weeks as well, and I can’t express how much of a relief that’ll be. I’ve gained only about four pounds so far, but the OBGYN says that’ll start changing quickly in the coming months. Luckily, Raven and Octavia have promised to help me shop for maternity clothes when it comes time for that….” She goes on and on, answering his questions about the baby, but redirecting any potential inquiry that isn’t directly related to the welfare of the baby.
She gets the feeling he’s allowing it for the most part, but she catches these little flashes of irritation every time she subverts him from asking the question she knows he wants to ask her. She doesn’t want him to ask it, even more than she’d never wanted him to know about the baby, because she doesn’t really know the answer.
Oh, she knows what she’s been telling herself, and she knows what she’s said to Octavia and Raven on the subject, but this is different. Clarke doesn’t think she can lie to Bellamy, but the truth is too complicated. So, in an effort to put off the question, she’s talked about everything, including her morning sickness woes and doctor visits. And yet, it’s all for naught, because he manages to break through her diatribe and blurt it out.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Clarke doesn’t answer at first. Then, finally, “I don’t know,” she whispers. “I mean, at first, I didn’t want to believe it, and then I was embarrassed. I always knew she was yours, and I couldn’t believe that I could be so careless and that one time was all it would take—and yes, don’t look at me like that, I know ‘one time is all it takes’ but I mean, really, what are the odds? Then I just…so much time had passed I felt that I had already kept it from you, that you would probably be better off without the burden of a kid, that it would cause so much drama and stress here. It seemed easier just not to say anything.”
Bellamy is silent then, as if taking the time to digest her words. Clarke watches him carefully, cataloging his responses and critically cataloging every move he makes. He seems to understand her reasons, but he also looks hurt.
Clarke continues, “Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to tell you. I thought about it so many times, even borrowed Octavia’s phone to put your number in mine, but I could never actually call you. I guess, most of all, I was just scared…I’m still scared.”
She’s about to cry again. She can feel the tears welling up in her eyes, and her voice at the end there went all high and broken. And, from the look of alarm on Bellamy’s face, he knows it.
She pushes herself off the couch where they had settled themselves for this conversation and walked over to the cupboard. She grabs another glass and opens the fridge, pulls out the milk, and pours herself a small amount. Her hands are all shaky and she’s afraid she’s going to drop the glass all over the floor, so she quickly drinks the milk and places the glass by the sink.
She busies herself with reloading the dishwasher, which allows her to face away from Bellamy as a few tears fall down her face. She wipes them away discreetly and works to compose herself.
“You don’t have to be scared anymore, Clarke,” she hears him say behind her. “I wish you would have told me sooner so that I could have been there for you. I wish you hadn’t been doing this alone for so long.”
Clarke closes the dishwasher, wipes her hands on a towel, and sighs before turning back around to face him. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Bellamy. I don’t know how to do this!”
Bellamy stands then too and walks directly up to her. His hands grab hold of hers, and she relaxes at the warmth of his larger hands covering hers. “It’s going to be okay, I promise. I’ve done a lot of this with my mom when she was pregnant with Octavia. And you have her and Raven too, they’ll help. And then there’s your parents.”
Clarke blanches. “I—I haven’t told my mom yet.”
Things calm down once again as Clarke explains to Bellamy that she didn’t know how to tell her neurosurgeon mother she had unprotected sex one time and managed to get pregnant. Her dad’s been away on an important engineering project for NASA for months and has been out of contact with her since he left. And she felt this was too much of a burden to tell her step-father while he was running for public office.
“And then there’s Raven and Octavia, who know, but don’t know.” Clarke’s eyes widen. “Oh, God! How am I going to tell Octavia?”
Bellamy opens his mouth to, Clarke assumes, impart some advise on how to tell his sister that her best friend had a one night stand with her brother when the girl in question walks through the door.
“How are you going to tell me what, Clarke?” Octavia asks, a look of concern on her face as she glances between Clarke and Bellamy.